Welcome to the Blooming Mindset, a weekly dose of clarity, mindset, and practical wisdom to help you stay consistent, think more deeply, and build a life aligned with your identity and purpose. I'm Ruth Rieckehoff, and I'm so glad you're here. Please share this newsletter with a friend!
Beloved Architect of Identity,
Have you ever had someone deny you a basic need?
Like asking for a sip of water and being told... no?
That happened to me recently, and it hit way deeper than I expected.
We were visiting Solvang, one of our favorite little towns in Santa Barbara County. It was one of those golden California days: sunshine pouring, streets packed, and heat thick in the air.
We popped into a restaurant to cool off and eat. After ordering, my husband asked for two cups of water.
The cashier stared at him and said, flatly:
"We’re not giving you cups."
No reason. No workaround. Just... no.
We were paying customers, mind you. Sitting there in the heat. Thirsty.
And somehow, being denied something as basic as a paper cup hit a nerve.
It wasn’t the kind of anger that makes you yell.
It was the quiet kind, the kind that sits heavy in your chest.
The kind that whispers, “This isn’t right.”
We finished our food quickly and left. Not because we were trying to prove a point. But because we realized,
Why stay somewhere that won’t meet your needs?
It’s such a simple question.
But we don’t ask it enough.
Especially not in business.
Not in relationships.
Not in our own minds.
We tolerate places that drain us.
Stay in jobs that dry us out.
Stick with routines that leave us thirsty, hoping that maybe next time, they’ll meet our needs.
And you know the popular advice, right?
“Just keep giving. Show your value. Be patient.”
So you do. You give your time. Your energy. Your money. Your ideas.
And still,
No cup.
No water.
Just more excuses. More denial.
You start to wonder, “Is it me? Am I asking for too much?”
Here’s another gem you might’ve heard:
“Be grateful for what you have. Don’t make a fuss.”
But here's the truth:
Gratitude doesn’t mean tolerating disrespect.
We didn’t beg. We didn’t argue.
We just left.
Because no matter how “small” the ask may seem...
If your needs aren't respected, your energy doesn’t belong there.
That day reminded me:
Just because someone can say no to you doesn’t mean you have to stay and accept it.
You have options.
You have standards.
You have the right to leave.
And not just physically.
Emotionally. Energetically. Mentally. Creatively.
You don’t have to stay where your growth is denied.
Where your voice is ignored.
Where your well-being is treated like an inconvenience.
Sometimes the most radical act of self-respect is this:
You leave.
With your dignity.
With your clarity.
With your thirst for better intact.
So, if you’re stuck in a space that constantly drains you?
Ask yourself:
Is it really too much to ask for water on a hot day?
Is it too much to ask for support when you're building something meaningful?
Is it too much to expect the bare minimum from the spaces you give your life to?
Spoiler: It’s not.
You can be in rooms that honor your needs.
You can be surrounded by systems, people, and environments that support your growth and development.
And if that cup isn’t offered freely?
Walk away, friend.
There’s a better table waiting for you, cup already filled.
Always in your corner,
Ruth
Reflect
- Where in your life are you hoping someone will finally meet your needs, even though they’ve already shown you they won’t?
- What would change if you stopped asking and started moving toward a place that already honors what matters to you?
Reframe
Old Belief:
If my needs are reasonable, people will meet them.
New Belief:
Reasonable needs still require intentional boundaries. It’s my job to ensure I’m in spaces where my needs are supported, not just assumed.
Actionable Transformation
- Audit your environment.
Identify one space, personal or professional, where your basic needs consistently go unmet. Write down what you’ve tolerated and why.
- Decide your minimums.
Define 3 non-negotiable needs for your well-being and creativity. These are your internal standards, not requests for approval.
- Practice leaving early.
This week, if something feels off, too tight, too dry, too dismissive, practice walking away without explaining. Let your feet do the boundary-setting.
Products & Resources
Trust Yourself Again: A self-guided journey to rebuild self-trust from the inside out, so you can stop second-guessing and start showing up with quiet confidence.
Rooted Planning Kit: A simple, soulful system to map your month with intention without the overwhelm. Designed to ground your goals in what actually matters.
Bounce Back Blueprint (Free): Feel like you've fallen off track? This powerful reset guide helps you regroup with compassion and get back into aligned momentum your way.
From Reactive to Rooted (Free): Tired of putting out fires? This mindset and action guide helps you shift from scattered to strategic, so your days flow from clarity, not chaos.
Rooted Flow System (Free): Use smart frameworks (like the Eisenhower Matrix) to reduce overwhelm, simplify your day, and stay in flow without burnout.
P.S. If this story resonates with you, keep in mind that I help creators with simple systems that allow them to get things done. We do depth, clarity, and results. Join the conversation: Follow me on X.
