Welcome to the Blooming Mindset, a weekly dose of clarity, mindset, and practical wisdom to help you stay consistent, think more deeply, and build a life aligned with your identity and purpose. I'm Ruth Rieckehoff, and I'm so glad you're here. Please share this newsletter with a friend!
Beloved Architect of Identity,
I still remember the day my first college essay got absolutely torn apart by my peers.
Like, not a gentle “here’s how to make it better” kind of thing.
It was a full-on massacre.
At that point, my English was decent but not spectacular.
Public school, no one to practice with, and definitely no clue what “literary analysis” really meant.
So when I got placed in an English honors class (yes, HONORS), I thought:
“Well, this must be a mistake.”
But there I was, surrounded by perfect English speakers dissecting poems like professional critics, and I was just trying to survive.
Still, I did everything right.
I picked my poem, looked up every single word I didn’t know, wrote my essay, took it to a tutor, double-checked grammar, everything.
When I handed it in, I actually felt proud.
Until the peer reviews came back.
Let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty. Apparently, my ideas were “unclear,” my analysis was “weak,” and my writing “lacked sophistication.”
Ouch.
I spiraled.
“What if I’m not smart enough for this class?”
“What if I fail and ruin my entire college start?”
“What if they’re right?”
You know that feeling when you’re crushed under criticism—and can’t tell if it’s helping you grow or just cutting you down? Yeah. That was me.
But here’s the twist: when the grades came out, I got a 100 out of 100.
The professor said my reviewers weren’t being objective. She said my essay showed real understanding and original thought.
Talk about emotional whiplash.
That moment changed everything for me.
Because I realized something:
Not all feedback is created equal.
There’s constructive feedback, the kind that helps you improve, points out what’s working and what isn’t, and invites growth. And then there’s destructive feedback, the kind that tears down, criticizes without context, and leaves you doubting yourself.
Guess which one we tend to internalize the most?
Yep. The destructive one.
And it doesn’t just happen in school.
It happens in business, in creativity, in life.
We let one harsh comment drown out ten compliments.
We let one negative review define our worth.
But here’s the truth I learned that day:
You can’t control what kind of feedback you get.
But you can choose what kind you keep.
You can learn to filter feedback like a gold miner, keeping the nuggets, letting the dirt wash away.
That’s how you grow without losing your peace.
That’s how you stay calm and still get better.
So next time someone critiques your work, ask yourself:
“Is this meant to build me, or break me?”
If it’s the first, take notes.
If it’s the second, take a breath, and move on.
Because you might be doing a lot better than you think.
You just need to clear the clouds to see the landscape.
Here’s to protecting your peace, trusting your progress, and filtering feedback like a pro.
You’ve got this,
Ruth
Reflect
- What kind of feedback tends to affect you the most, and why?
- How do you currently decide what feedback is worth acting on?
Reframe
Old belief: “Criticism means I’m doing something wrong.”
New belief: “Criticism can mean I’m doing something bold.”
Actionable Transformation
- Before reacting to feedback, pause. Ask: Is this feedback about me, or about them?
- Filter feedback through three questions: Is it specific, actionable, and respectful? If not, let it go.
- Keep a “feedback reflection” journal. Write down what you learn from constructive input, and what you choose not to carry from destructive ones.
Products & Resources
Trust Yourself Again: A self-guided journey to rebuild self-trust from the inside out, so you can stop second-guessing and start showing up with quiet confidence.
Bounce Back Blueprint (Free): Feel like you've fallen off track? This powerful reset guide helps you regroup with compassion and get back into aligned momentum your way.
From Reactive to Rooted (Free): Tired of putting out fires? This mindset and action guide helps you shift from scattered to strategic, so your days flow from clarity, not chaos.
P.S. Because mastery isn’t about ignoring feedback. It’s about knowing which voices deserve a seat at your table.
If you want more of these bite-sized lessons and mindset shifts, I share daily over on X. Come hang out with me there → Follow me on X.
