Welcome to the Blooming Mindset. I'm ​Ruth Rieckehoff​, and I'm so glad you're here. Some of my emails include affiliate links. If you choose to purchase, I may earn a small commission, at no extra cost to you. I only share what I’ve personally used, trusted, and found meaningful enough to pass along.

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Beloved Architect of Identity,

I bought a giant head of cabbage for a bargain.

Three weeks later, I was questioning my life choices.

A few weeks ago, while visiting fall markets, I found an enormous cabbage for a ridiculously low price. Perfect, I thought. I'll make sauerkraut.

I enjoy making preserves, yogurt, and fermented foods occasionally. But here's something you should know about me.

I love eating. Cooking? Not so much.

So naturally, that cabbage spent three weeks in my refrigerator.

When I finally decided to tackle it, I discovered two things. First, cabbage keeps surprisingly well. Second, apparently, it multiplies when you start cutting it.

Before I knew it, I had two enormous pots of shredded cabbage.

I made three big jars of sauerkraut. And still had a potful left. Exhausted, I put the leftovers in the fridge.

The next morning, I found a "simple" cabbage recipe on YouTube. Famous last words.

Somehow, I doubled the recipe, ran out of milk, struggled with the consistency, and ended up with two enormous pans of food.

Three hours later, my kitchen looked like a disaster zone, my sink was overflowing, and I'd injured two fingers shredding cheese.

All because I couldn't resist a cheap cabbage.

And somewhere between washing the fifteenth dish and questioning my judgment, something occurred to me.

Why was I spending so much time doing something I don't particularly enjoy?

I value healthy eating. But that doesn't mean I need to spend hours cooking elaborate meals. There are other ways to eat well.

And the same applies to wealth, work, relationships, and how we spend our time.

We absorb ideas about what successful, healthy, responsible, or accomplished people are supposed to do.

Then we start building lives around those expectations. Sometimes without asking whether they fit us.

I'm not suggesting we abandon responsibilities or avoid developing useful skills.

But there's a difference between doing something necessary and turning someone else's ideal into our personal obligation.

A good life doesn't require becoming good at everything. It requires knowing what deserves your best.

Until next time, keep blooming,

Ruth

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Reflect

1. What are you doing because you genuinely value it, and what are you doing because you've accepted someone else's definition of a good life?
2. Where are you spending considerable time and energy trying to become someone you don't particularly want to be?

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Reframe

Old belief: If something is good for me, I should be willing to do it the way others recommend.

New belief: I can pursue worthwhile outcomes through approaches that fit my strengths, preferences, and circumstances.

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Actionable Transformation

1. Separate the outcome from the method. Identify what you're trying to accomplish and consider different ways to get there.
2. Recognize your strengths. Notice which activities energize you, where you contribute most, and what you can reasonably simplify.
3. Question the expectations. Before committing to something, ask: Is this necessary, meaningful, or simply something I've convinced myself I should do?

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P.S. As for me, I'll continue making sauerkraut occasionally. But next time, I'm buying a smaller cabbage. Some lessons don't need a second serving.

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